Chapter Thirty Five

Two weeks later, Lucy could barely contain her excitement as she steered her car down the street. Sullivan had been on a business trip to Seattle for the last week, and she had been working out so much, her montage had been reduced to just eat, work out, and sleep – though not necessarily in that order.

They had talked on the phone each night, but she could hear how mentally exhausted Sully was, and paired with her physical exhaustion, they conversations had been fairly short. She missed the long conversations they were accustomed to having over dinner or sitting on the patio under the stars.

She missed having him around – she missed touching him. Just a hug, or a kiss, or even an encouraging swat on the backside when she complained about how far they had walked that day.

She missed Sully, so much, she thought to herself, driving a little faster now.

Because now, Spencer had given her two whole days off from working out at the warehouse, Sully flight was due home a couple of hours ago, and they were going to spend the weekend together at her and Brandt’s place.

Brandt and Josh had indeed left for Vegas the evening before for a weekend away together, so Lucy and Sully would have the whole place to themselves for two days – to play house, as Brandt had said with a wink as he left with Josh.

She couldn’t wait.

She knew they had made tentative plans for Sully to come over to her place once he got home, but she couldn’t bear sitting around and waiting any longer. She’d hopped in the car and driven to the twin’s house in the hopes of surprising him.

She smiled as she saw cars in the driveway, knowing it meant someone – and hopefully her favorite someone – was home.

She practically leaped out of the car in her excitement to see Sully again… she couldn’t believe she had become one of these women who couldn’t go a few days without seeing her man.

With Ryan, it was a completely different situation – they had often been separated and for weeks or even months at a time. Between boot camp, basic training, deployment and more, Lucy had just become really accustomed to being on her own – but knowing he was out there somewhere, caring for her. They had talked on the phone or Skyped when they could, and though the communication connection was tenuous at best depending on where he was, they were always rock solid as a couple, having been together so long.

With Sullivan, and with everything being so new, though, this was unmarked territory for Lucy. She felt excited and nervous, both emotions, all wrapped up together, all the time.

She wasn’t yet sure how she felt about needing such a strong connection with a man, but for this weekend, she wasn’t going to worry about it. She just wanted to see Sully after so many days apart, and she was okay with that.

She bounded up the steps of the twins’ patio and rapped sharply on the back door. She knew someone must be home, judging from the cars in the driveway, so after a long beat, she tried the doorknob. The door swung open, and she walked in, just as she had become accustomed to doing for the last few weeks. Sully and Spencer had both told her to just c’mon in, don’t worry about knocking, but she couldn’t seem to break the habit of knocking anyway.

Maybe soon, she mused, shutting the door behind her.

She glanced around the family room, but didn’t immediately see anyone, though she spied a suitcase near the front door. She walked towards the kitchen, and just as she was about to call out Sully’s name to let him know she was there, she stopped dead in her tracks.

A tall, stick thin woman was long blonde hair was sitting on the counter, her legs wrapped around the waist of…

Lucy let out a strangled cry, knowing but not believing it was Sully – and instantly knowing that the willowy blonde could be no one else but Jewel.

The ex fiancée. The woman who had broken his heart.

The woman pulled away from the kiss and her eyes seared into Lucy’s with a contemptuous look. Lucy could see that she had enormous breasts, long, long legs, and perfectly manicured… well, everything. Nails, eyebrows, legs, toes… it was all on display in a short skirt and skimpy top.

God, she looked like a model, Lucy thought dumbly. Or a… well, a porn star.

“You must be… what was it? Lucille? I’m Jewel,” the woman said with a smirk, her hands tangling in her man’s hair, even as he tried wrenching away.

She knew exactly who Lucy was, and she was toying with her.

Who did that?!

Lucy spun on her heel without saying a word and dashed out the front door and leaped into the car in what felt like two seconds flat.

She always seemed to be running away from Sully…

And he always seemed to be giving her a reason to.

She mashed down the accelerator and sped out of sight, even as she saw him run out the door and skid to a halt on the porch, waving for her to stop.

But she kept right on going.

**

Two hours later, Lucy sat straight up in bed at the sound of furious banging on the door of her house. “Lucy, open the god damned door!” she heard the muffled yell through the door as she shuffled towards it.

She hesitated, and then turned the lock and opened the door to face a very angry looking Sullivan.

“Do come in,” she said formally, backing away as he stalked into the room.

“Tell me that you know, that you know, that wasn’t me,” Sullivan said without preamble.

“I do know that,” Lucy said without hesitation.

“Oh,” Sullivan said, visibly deflating. “That was easy.”

“Hi,” Lucy said tonelessly. “Welcome home.”

“Thanks, nice to see you,” Sullivan answered in the same flat tone. “Spencer said you… well, he told me what you saw. Or what you think you saw.”

“I’ll admit, at first I thought it was you,” Lucy confessed. “I saw her, and I knew immediately who she was, and I… I thought that it was you she was kissing.”

“It wasn’t,” Sullivan said, reiterating his point.

“I know, but it took me a little while to figure that out,” Lucy said.  “I couldn’t tell from the angle, so I just…”

Sullivan stepped forward, intending to envelop her in a hug, but she took a step back. He stopped in his tracks, his face a mask of hurt. “Luce? What?”

She took another step back, and he watched her, hands at his sides.

“Are you… are you happy with me?” she asked, all her insecurities resurfacing in one fell swoop.

“Of course I’m happy with you!” Sullivan answered immediately, his voice rising.

Lucy bit her lip, fighting for control before losing it completely. Moments later, tears overran her eyes as she choked out, “she looks like a porn star!”

Sullivan stood stock still, stunned by Lucy’s sudden breakdown into tears.

“How could you go from that…” Lucy asked, waving a vague hand in the air, “to this?” she asked, gesturing to her own body. “From porn star to…” she cried harder, not sure even how to categorize herself.

“Lucy, stop this.”

“How?!” Lucy asked, her voice strangled, and Sullivan’s heart clenched in his chest to hear her anguish.

“Because I love you,” he said quietly, still not moving, afraid of spooking her into running away from him again. “I thought I loved her, but I didn’t. But I didn’t know that until I loved you. Until I knew what that meant. With you.”

“How?”

“How what?”

“How can you…”

“Don’t ask me how I can love you,” Sullivan said, sounding angry now. “That will piss me off. You are worth more than that question, and you better know it by now.”

Lucy bit off her question and just stared at him balefully.

“Don’t you know me by now? Don’t you know how I feel about you? I love you, Lucy. Only you. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your pants size, and you should damn well know that by now. I care about you. You are the girl in the firelight, and you always will be to me. Jewel was nothing more than a manipulative bitch I knew earlier in life. She’s nothing to us now. I’m with you, because I love you. And more than that, I think you love me too.”

“I do,” Lucy whispered after a beat, and Sullivan visibly relaxed.

“Good,” he said shakily. “Then what is all of this?”

“This?” Lucy asked with a sharp bark of laughter. “This is insecurity. I’m always going to be wondering how you could go from her to me. And even though I hate myself for it, I’m always going to wonder if it’s you… or if it’s Spencer.”

Sullivan stared at her, dumbfounded.

“This shouldn’t be this hard,” Lucy said quietly.

“No,” Sullivan said shortly. “It shouldn’t.”

And with that, he left the house.

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